You or Your Job?
By Nina Baruch
Although most of us grew up in a democratic society, when it comes to work and making a living, we are willing to put up with the most demeaning of conditions. Most of us don't even consider there's anything wrong or that there might be other options. We learn to function like robots, convincing ourselves that this is the right thing to do, and that it's ok to sacrifice our dignity and health. Very few are willing to admit that by accepting these norms, we in many ways are allowing ourselves to be victims of abuse.
Abused at Work?
Most of us believe there's no decent existence unless we work for somebody else; hence we believe our employers have the right to push us around. This is probably why we don't consider this behavior abusive. The fact is work abuse is one of the most common types of abuse around.
"Work abuse is the brutalizing and dehumanizing of a person through patterned ways of interacting at work", explains hypnosis therapist, Angela Bailey, on her website www.angelabaileyhypnosis.com. She points out that this includes systematic denial that the emotional abuse is going on. "Work abuse can affect a whole organization, a work group within the organization, or it can be focused on one individual: the scapegoat of the department"' she says. "When the scapegoat inevitably leaves or is fired, someone else becomes the scapegoat".
"This situation affects us a lot more than we want to acknowledge", she adds. Some people become disabled because of their supervisor's abuse. Many work abuse victims suffer from symptoms of PTSD, including flashbacks, nightmares, irritability, insomnia and poor concentration. Parents, especially fathers, trapped in their jobs, may even come home and abuse their children or batter their wives. "As a society we ask men and women to subject themselves to demeaning environments where they can't afford to be sensitive. We ignore the daily violence against them. Then we expect them to come home, and be loving, happy and kind to their kids and spouse. And when they can't, can we blame them?
Who are the victims?
I don't believe there is an ulterior motive in work abuse. No one benefits, including the organization itself. The only goal the abuser has is to gain power over others, and mask incompetence. Abusers at work put their victims down, destroy their reputation and isolate them, not only making others think badly of them but making them think and feel badly about themselves.
Sometimes when we hear about someone claiming they are being victimized at work, we wonder if he or she isn't perhaps doing something to attract these vicious attacks. Research shows, that victims are far from being weak or trouble makers. On the contrary: they are often the most capable workers; ones who refuse to give in to authoritarian behavior.
In his book, Modern Madness: the Emotional Fallout of Success, Douglas LaBier, a business psychologist, psychotherapist and researcher, documents the victimization of the best people in work organizations, and the massive denial of it. According to LaBier, people with the highest sense of responsibility and imagination are the ones who end up tagged "troublemakers" in workplaces.
These people may initially be the most productive and efficient, but these same qualities make these people protest inefficiency and degrading work norms. Another type of worker prone to abuse is the whistleblower. There are also those who are singled out because of their sex, ethnicity, personal style, or just because they are a convenient target. Some workplaces are so toxic that virtually everyone suffers in the ongoing battles. These battles include tantrums, put-downs, set-ups and sometimes even physical assaults.
Eventually, for whatever reason, the abused party ends up in conflict because they can't stay sane in an insane system.
Therapists, who specialize in working with work abuse cases, have recently developed a set of tactics for people who feel abused at work. They claim that if people knew how to cope with and respond to the demeaning remarks, they could keep their positions and stay sane.
I say - why bother? Most of the tactics ignore the fact that being abused at work can be the result of enslaving ourselves to organization's needs and hours instead of to ourselves and our lives, and this in itself is toxic to our vitality, happiness, and mental and physical well being.
Two years ago I finally figured this out, and chose to become my own boss. I started my own home business. At first it was scary and there was a lot to learn and to readjust to. But soon enough, I found a way to turn my expertise into a profitable career. I have no regrets and I've never looked back. Now it's your turn.
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By Nina Baruch
Although most of us grew up in a democratic society, when it comes to work and making a living, we are willing to put up with the most demeaning of conditions. Most of us don't even consider there's anything wrong or that there might be other options. We learn to function like robots, convincing ourselves that this is the right thing to do, and that it's ok to sacrifice our dignity and health. Very few are willing to admit that by accepting these norms, we in many ways are allowing ourselves to be victims of abuse.
Abused at Work?
Most of us believe there's no decent existence unless we work for somebody else; hence we believe our employers have the right to push us around. This is probably why we don't consider this behavior abusive. The fact is work abuse is one of the most common types of abuse around.
"Work abuse is the brutalizing and dehumanizing of a person through patterned ways of interacting at work", explains hypnosis therapist, Angela Bailey, on her website www.angelabaileyhypnosis.com. She points out that this includes systematic denial that the emotional abuse is going on. "Work abuse can affect a whole organization, a work group within the organization, or it can be focused on one individual: the scapegoat of the department"' she says. "When the scapegoat inevitably leaves or is fired, someone else becomes the scapegoat".
"This situation affects us a lot more than we want to acknowledge", she adds. Some people become disabled because of their supervisor's abuse. Many work abuse victims suffer from symptoms of PTSD, including flashbacks, nightmares, irritability, insomnia and poor concentration. Parents, especially fathers, trapped in their jobs, may even come home and abuse their children or batter their wives. "As a society we ask men and women to subject themselves to demeaning environments where they can't afford to be sensitive. We ignore the daily violence against them. Then we expect them to come home, and be loving, happy and kind to their kids and spouse. And when they can't, can we blame them?
Who are the victims?
I don't believe there is an ulterior motive in work abuse. No one benefits, including the organization itself. The only goal the abuser has is to gain power over others, and mask incompetence. Abusers at work put their victims down, destroy their reputation and isolate them, not only making others think badly of them but making them think and feel badly about themselves.
Sometimes when we hear about someone claiming they are being victimized at work, we wonder if he or she isn't perhaps doing something to attract these vicious attacks. Research shows, that victims are far from being weak or trouble makers. On the contrary: they are often the most capable workers; ones who refuse to give in to authoritarian behavior.
In his book, Modern Madness: the Emotional Fallout of Success, Douglas LaBier, a business psychologist, psychotherapist and researcher, documents the victimization of the best people in work organizations, and the massive denial of it. According to LaBier, people with the highest sense of responsibility and imagination are the ones who end up tagged "troublemakers" in workplaces.
These people may initially be the most productive and efficient, but these same qualities make these people protest inefficiency and degrading work norms. Another type of worker prone to abuse is the whistleblower. There are also those who are singled out because of their sex, ethnicity, personal style, or just because they are a convenient target. Some workplaces are so toxic that virtually everyone suffers in the ongoing battles. These battles include tantrums, put-downs, set-ups and sometimes even physical assaults.
Eventually, for whatever reason, the abused party ends up in conflict because they can't stay sane in an insane system.
Therapists, who specialize in working with work abuse cases, have recently developed a set of tactics for people who feel abused at work. They claim that if people knew how to cope with and respond to the demeaning remarks, they could keep their positions and stay sane.
I say - why bother? Most of the tactics ignore the fact that being abused at work can be the result of enslaving ourselves to organization's needs and hours instead of to ourselves and our lives, and this in itself is toxic to our vitality, happiness, and mental and physical well being.
Two years ago I finally figured this out, and chose to become my own boss. I started my own home business. At first it was scary and there was a lot to learn and to readjust to. But soon enough, I found a way to turn my expertise into a profitable career. I have no regrets and I've never looked back. Now it's your turn.
<back
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