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When Will I Be Happy?
By Elena Shoval
Is a new car, a bigger home or successful career going to
make us happy? Most of us believe these things will do
but when we get them - the happiness goes away
Five years ago I applied for a job that I thought would change my life:
The money was good, the conditions excellent, and I was going to
run an entire department all by myself. It sounded like the perfect
job for me and if I got it, I thought I'd be the happiest person alive for
the rest of my life.
There was only one obstacle: There were four more candidates
pursuing the same position, with more or less the same experience
and qualifications. So I had to convince management I was their
best shot. I was nervous, worried and absolutely certain that if I
didn't get this job my life would be ruined.
After a series of long, thorough interviews and personality tests, I
got the job. I was understandably ecstatic. I was so happy I couldn't
sleep that night. I kept calling my friends to tell them how lucky I
was. I had no doubt this happiness would last for a long, long time,
if not for the rest of my life.
It took about two weeks for my exhilaration to dissolve. Yes, the job
was still great. It was still all I had dreamed of for years but once I
started working I had to deal with a lot of new responsibilities. I
had deadlines to meet, annoying people to deal with and fewer
hours to sleep. A month later I found it almost impossible to
remember the happiness I had experienced a month earlier. I wasn't
miserable but I certainly wasn't as happy as I thought I would be.
Hell, I wasn't even close!
How did my feelings disappear so quickly? How come I lost my
enthusiasm about my dream job so easily? Was it the job itself
that wasn't exactly what I thought it would be? Was it me, always
finding fault in everything I do and spoiling the fun? Or maybe it was just more proof that humans find it hard to stay happy for more than a few days, no matter what the circumstances.
How to stay happy
Happiness is not a permanent state of mind, say Daniel Gilbert, a Professor of psychology at Harvard University, who wrote the book "Stumbling on Happiness". In his book Gilbert explores the ways people try to create happiness. Whenever we stumble upon a happy event or a successful outcome, he claims in his book, we feel happy, but pretty soon we get used to it. So much so, that we find it hard to keep feeling happy about it.
One of the reasons for this, says Gilbert, is that people tend to twist reality, including their senses regarding what makes them happy. "The human brain learns to look forward in time so that it can steer us toward happy futures and away from unhappy ones"' he says on his official wesite. "But is happiness really the only thing we should be aiming for?"
According to Gilbert people always make mistakes when they try looking into their future to decide what will make them happy. How so? "People gauge how happy a particular future will make them feel by imagining it, and then by asking themselves how they feel when they do. The problem is that people get their current feelings and their future feelings all mixed up".
Gilbert suggests that if we really want to pursue happiness we should always remember it is short lived. Therefore we should look for happiness inside ourselves instead of taking other people description of what is going to make us happy. A brand new car for example, a luxurious house or the prettiest girlfriend can make us happy for awhile, but eventually it will wear off.
On the other hand, doing what is right for us, surrounding ourselves with people who love and care for us and taking good care of our health and well being can contribute greater happiness levels and ones that will last a lot longer.
By Elena Shoval
Is a new car, a bigger home or successful career going to
make us happy? Most of us believe these things will do
but when we get them - the happiness goes away
Five years ago I applied for a job that I thought would change my life:
The money was good, the conditions excellent, and I was going to
run an entire department all by myself. It sounded like the perfect
job for me and if I got it, I thought I'd be the happiest person alive for
the rest of my life.
There was only one obstacle: There were four more candidates
pursuing the same position, with more or less the same experience
and qualifications. So I had to convince management I was their
best shot. I was nervous, worried and absolutely certain that if I
didn't get this job my life would be ruined.
After a series of long, thorough interviews and personality tests, I
got the job. I was understandably ecstatic. I was so happy I couldn't
sleep that night. I kept calling my friends to tell them how lucky I
was. I had no doubt this happiness would last for a long, long time,
if not for the rest of my life.
It took about two weeks for my exhilaration to dissolve. Yes, the job
was still great. It was still all I had dreamed of for years but once I
started working I had to deal with a lot of new responsibilities. I
had deadlines to meet, annoying people to deal with and fewer
hours to sleep. A month later I found it almost impossible to
remember the happiness I had experienced a month earlier. I wasn't
miserable but I certainly wasn't as happy as I thought I would be.
Hell, I wasn't even close!
How did my feelings disappear so quickly? How come I lost my
enthusiasm about my dream job so easily? Was it the job itself
that wasn't exactly what I thought it would be? Was it me, always
finding fault in everything I do and spoiling the fun? Or maybe it was just more proof that humans find it hard to stay happy for more than a few days, no matter what the circumstances.
How to stay happy
Happiness is not a permanent state of mind, say Daniel Gilbert, a Professor of psychology at Harvard University, who wrote the book "Stumbling on Happiness". In his book Gilbert explores the ways people try to create happiness. Whenever we stumble upon a happy event or a successful outcome, he claims in his book, we feel happy, but pretty soon we get used to it. So much so, that we find it hard to keep feeling happy about it.
One of the reasons for this, says Gilbert, is that people tend to twist reality, including their senses regarding what makes them happy. "The human brain learns to look forward in time so that it can steer us toward happy futures and away from unhappy ones"' he says on his official wesite. "But is happiness really the only thing we should be aiming for?"
According to Gilbert people always make mistakes when they try looking into their future to decide what will make them happy. How so? "People gauge how happy a particular future will make them feel by imagining it, and then by asking themselves how they feel when they do. The problem is that people get their current feelings and their future feelings all mixed up".
Gilbert suggests that if we really want to pursue happiness we should always remember it is short lived. Therefore we should look for happiness inside ourselves instead of taking other people description of what is going to make us happy. A brand new car for example, a luxurious house or the prettiest girlfriend can make us happy for awhile, but eventually it will wear off.
On the other hand, doing what is right for us, surrounding ourselves with people who love and care for us and taking good care of our health and well being can contribute greater happiness levels and ones that will last a lot longer.
"Most folks are
about as happy as they make
up their minds to be"
about as happy as they make
up their minds to be"
Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) was the sixteenth President of the United States. He was elected president in 1860, and during his term he helped preserve the United States by leading the defeat of the secessionist Confederate States of America in the American Civil War. He introduced measures that resulted in the abolition of slavery. In 1865 He was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, a Confederate sympathizer. His assassination was the last major event in the American Civil war.
