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When Your Goals
Holding You Back
by Drew Rozell, Ph.D.
Imagine what your life would be like
if you dropped all of your goals this
very second. Can you? If you are like
most people, you probably have a great
deal of difficulty in imaging what this
would be like (or you have just fired
me for posing such a silly question).
This type of reaction speaks directly to my
point - that we often define ourselves
through our goals. In fact, our goals become
so deeply tied to our sense of self that we
often no longer question why we work
towards the goals we set for ourselves.
The pressure we feel to distinguish ourselves
from the crowd frequently drives us to set the
wrong goals. If we are then faced with having
to let go of our goals, we resist, kicking and
screaming. Knowing this, it's critical to
examine why we set the particular goals we do
to ensure we are on the right path for ourselves.
Years ago when I was applying to colleges, I did not have a good sense of what I really wanted to do with my life or where to direct my energy. Being the fifth of five kids, my parents weren't thrilled about paying for yet another child's education. So, they started dropping hints for me to apply for an ROTC scholarship to pay for
my schooling.
These scholarships are somewhat prestigious as the government picks up the entire tab for college. In return, recipients have to take military classes, are expected to major in engineering, and spend at least 4 years in the service as an officer and 4 years in the reserves. Sounded decent enough to me.
After a while, the competitive nature of the application process even got my juices flowing. I was going to do whatever it took to win. After a battery of interviews, tests, pushups and physicals, I got a phone call informing me that I ha been awarded a scholarship to the University of Florida. I had actually achieved the first part of my goal and secured a free ride to college! I remember being quite pleased with myself. Then reality struck.
When I arrived at school in the fall, I had trouble adjusting to my newly regimented life. I had little in common with any of the other midshipmen. Since I spent a lot of time with these young men, this meant I had few friends.
My feet bled constantly from my tight white shoes rubbing the skin off my heels. The cleaners turned my dress white uniform a pale shade of blue (THAT goes over well with the brass). I struggled to remain conscious during my dry engineering classes. Come to think of it, I despised the whole experience.
However, as I look back, there is no need to call in Sherlock Holmes to figure out what went wrong. My need for independence, disdain for authority, and lack of ironing skills stacked the deck against me being successful in sustaining this goal.
<back ...1/2 next>
Holding You Back
by Drew Rozell, Ph.D.
Imagine what your life would be like
if you dropped all of your goals this
very second. Can you? If you are like
most people, you probably have a great
deal of difficulty in imaging what this
would be like (or you have just fired
me for posing such a silly question).
This type of reaction speaks directly to my
point - that we often define ourselves
through our goals. In fact, our goals become
so deeply tied to our sense of self that we
often no longer question why we work
towards the goals we set for ourselves.
The pressure we feel to distinguish ourselves
from the crowd frequently drives us to set the
wrong goals. If we are then faced with having
to let go of our goals, we resist, kicking and
screaming. Knowing this, it's critical to
examine why we set the particular goals we do
to ensure we are on the right path for ourselves.
Years ago when I was applying to colleges, I did not have a good sense of what I really wanted to do with my life or where to direct my energy. Being the fifth of five kids, my parents weren't thrilled about paying for yet another child's education. So, they started dropping hints for me to apply for an ROTC scholarship to pay for
my schooling.
These scholarships are somewhat prestigious as the government picks up the entire tab for college. In return, recipients have to take military classes, are expected to major in engineering, and spend at least 4 years in the service as an officer and 4 years in the reserves. Sounded decent enough to me.
After a while, the competitive nature of the application process even got my juices flowing. I was going to do whatever it took to win. After a battery of interviews, tests, pushups and physicals, I got a phone call informing me that I ha been awarded a scholarship to the University of Florida. I had actually achieved the first part of my goal and secured a free ride to college! I remember being quite pleased with myself. Then reality struck.
When I arrived at school in the fall, I had trouble adjusting to my newly regimented life. I had little in common with any of the other midshipmen. Since I spent a lot of time with these young men, this meant I had few friends.
My feet bled constantly from my tight white shoes rubbing the skin off my heels. The cleaners turned my dress white uniform a pale shade of blue (THAT goes over well with the brass). I struggled to remain conscious during my dry engineering classes. Come to think of it, I despised the whole experience.
However, as I look back, there is no need to call in Sherlock Holmes to figure out what went wrong. My need for independence, disdain for authority, and lack of ironing skills stacked the deck against me being successful in sustaining this goal.
<back ...1/2 next>
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"A goal without
a plan is just
a wish"
a plan is just
a wish"
"The pressure we feel to distinguish ourselves from the crowd frequently drives us to set the wrong goals. If we are then faced with having to let go of our goals, we resist, kicking and screaming"
Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) was a French writer and pilot.One of his most famous works is Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince). He disappeared on the night of July 31, 1944 while flying on a mission to collect data on German troop movements.