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Let Go of Your Past
By Garrett Coan
5. Instant gratification. Many people escape the pressures of daily life through drugs and alcohol. There are messages everywhere suggesting that we use alcohol and drugs to relax, escape, have fun, and be sexy. When this becomes a lifestyle, it often results in consequences that one can only regret: drunk driving, accidents, death and injury, relationship probles, poor attendance at work, or being fired.
6. Constant comparisons. When we compare our lives with others, it’s easy to feel regret. Most of us expect ourselves to have it all together. We learn to act as if we are in control and compare ourselves with our friends, coworkers, neighbors, and the characters on television. When we don’t look as good as they do, we feel like failures. We have a list of “shoulds” inside our heads-things we expect ourselves to be able to do.
Guilt
Guilt is usually the result of aggressive acts, wishes, and thoughts. It usually results from violating a rule-either our own or someone else’s.
What to do about unfinished business
If you want to move past the things in the past that are keeping you stuck-your unfinished business-you will need to acknowledge them and tell the truth about them. You don’t necessarily have to take any action; sometimes just writing or talking about it is enough to lessen its impact. You can write about it in a private journal or talk about it with a trusted friend or counselor. Here are some places to look for your unfinished business:
1. Risks I should have taken
2. People I treated badly
3. People who treated me badly
4. Something I did to someone
5. Not doing something I should have done
6. Messes I need to clean up (literally and metaphorically)
7. Things I should throw away
8. Things I want to buy for my home
9. Things I want to buy for myself
10. Things I need but haven’t allowed myself to have
11. Projects I’ve started but have not finished
12. Projects I want to start
13. Things I want to change
14. Things I want to stop doing
15. Things I want to be
16. Things I want to have
17. Experiences I want to have
18. Things I want to say
19. Feelings I have not expressed
20. Secrets I don’t want to keep any longer
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist, coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through <http://www.creativecounselors.com> or at 201-303-4303. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Garrett_Coan
By Garrett Coan
5. Instant gratification. Many people escape the pressures of daily life through drugs and alcohol. There are messages everywhere suggesting that we use alcohol and drugs to relax, escape, have fun, and be sexy. When this becomes a lifestyle, it often results in consequences that one can only regret: drunk driving, accidents, death and injury, relationship probles, poor attendance at work, or being fired.
6. Constant comparisons. When we compare our lives with others, it’s easy to feel regret. Most of us expect ourselves to have it all together. We learn to act as if we are in control and compare ourselves with our friends, coworkers, neighbors, and the characters on television. When we don’t look as good as they do, we feel like failures. We have a list of “shoulds” inside our heads-things we expect ourselves to be able to do.
Guilt
Guilt is usually the result of aggressive acts, wishes, and thoughts. It usually results from violating a rule-either our own or someone else’s.
What to do about unfinished business
If you want to move past the things in the past that are keeping you stuck-your unfinished business-you will need to acknowledge them and tell the truth about them. You don’t necessarily have to take any action; sometimes just writing or talking about it is enough to lessen its impact. You can write about it in a private journal or talk about it with a trusted friend or counselor. Here are some places to look for your unfinished business:
1. Risks I should have taken
2. People I treated badly
3. People who treated me badly
4. Something I did to someone
5. Not doing something I should have done
6. Messes I need to clean up (literally and metaphorically)
7. Things I should throw away
8. Things I want to buy for my home
9. Things I want to buy for myself
10. Things I need but haven’t allowed myself to have
11. Projects I’ve started but have not finished
12. Projects I want to start
13. Things I want to change
14. Things I want to stop doing
15. Things I want to be
16. Things I want to have
17. Experiences I want to have
18. Things I want to say
19. Feelings I have not expressed
20. Secrets I don’t want to keep any longer
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist, coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through <http://www.creativecounselors.com> or at 201-303-4303. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Garrett_Coan
