Divorce Survival - How
to Take Care of Yourself Emotionally To Get
Through Your Divorce
By Linda Lipshutz
Going through a divorce is probably one of the
most gut-wrenching experiences a person can
go through. This article focuses on strategies
that should ease some of the pain, and should
make it possible to see that there is light at the
end of the tunnel.
One of the hardest realizations that people going
through divorces have to come to terms with is
accepting that the person they once shared their
hopes and dreams with has now become an adversary.
The manner in which both parties confront their
differences greatly affects the intensity of their
adjustment and the difficulties they will face going
forward. This article has been designed to highlight
important steps you can take to make a significant
difference in your adjustment to your divorce.
1. Grieve and vent as much as you need to, but then take the time to learn from what you've been through. The divorce involves two people, so it is important to honestly appraise your role in the break-up, rather than solely narrow-mindedly blaming your spouse. The more you explore the reasons and issues that compromised your marriage, the more you will learn about yourself. The insights that you gain should pay huge dividends as you go forward in your life.
2. Reach out to trusted friends and loved ones. These are the ones who will sustain you through this tough time. However, make sure to treat these relationships with care. These people are not obligated to be there for you. They want to be there for you. Show your appreciation by paying close attention to their needs as well, and don't take advantage. Your loved ones will readily show their support if you are considerate of their feelings and schedules. Make sure to ask regularly about what's going on with them! While no one expects you to put on a "happy face" during this time, be careful of being so negative that your loved ones dread your call.
3. Focus on your kids' needs as much as your own. Your children did not ask to have their lives turned upside down. Be sensitive to the impact that the divorce will have on their lives. Even though you are in tremendous pain, do your best to maintain the continuity and structure of your children's routines. We understand that you will need to vent and cry. Try to do your grieving when the kids are not with you, so that you can be as emotionally available to them as you can.
4. Make sure that you get the best legal representation that you can afford. Get several references, especially from people who have personally been represented by this attorney. It is frightening to put your faith in your lawyer, and to put your life into his/her hands. Interview several, and if a trusted family member or friend can come with you it might help. The person you bring with you might ask questions you don't think of or are too intimidated to ask. In addition, they might be able to remember things that you don't or have another perspective about which attorney to hire.
1/2 next>
to Take Care of Yourself Emotionally To Get
Through Your Divorce
By Linda Lipshutz
Going through a divorce is probably one of the
most gut-wrenching experiences a person can
go through. This article focuses on strategies
that should ease some of the pain, and should
make it possible to see that there is light at the
end of the tunnel.
One of the hardest realizations that people going
through divorces have to come to terms with is
accepting that the person they once shared their
hopes and dreams with has now become an adversary.
The manner in which both parties confront their
differences greatly affects the intensity of their
adjustment and the difficulties they will face going
forward. This article has been designed to highlight
important steps you can take to make a significant
difference in your adjustment to your divorce.
1. Grieve and vent as much as you need to, but then take the time to learn from what you've been through. The divorce involves two people, so it is important to honestly appraise your role in the break-up, rather than solely narrow-mindedly blaming your spouse. The more you explore the reasons and issues that compromised your marriage, the more you will learn about yourself. The insights that you gain should pay huge dividends as you go forward in your life.
2. Reach out to trusted friends and loved ones. These are the ones who will sustain you through this tough time. However, make sure to treat these relationships with care. These people are not obligated to be there for you. They want to be there for you. Show your appreciation by paying close attention to their needs as well, and don't take advantage. Your loved ones will readily show their support if you are considerate of their feelings and schedules. Make sure to ask regularly about what's going on with them! While no one expects you to put on a "happy face" during this time, be careful of being so negative that your loved ones dread your call.
3. Focus on your kids' needs as much as your own. Your children did not ask to have their lives turned upside down. Be sensitive to the impact that the divorce will have on their lives. Even though you are in tremendous pain, do your best to maintain the continuity and structure of your children's routines. We understand that you will need to vent and cry. Try to do your grieving when the kids are not with you, so that you can be as emotionally available to them as you can.
4. Make sure that you get the best legal representation that you can afford. Get several references, especially from people who have personally been represented by this attorney. It is frightening to put your faith in your lawyer, and to put your life into his/her hands. Interview several, and if a trusted family member or friend can come with you it might help. The person you bring with you might ask questions you don't think of or are too intimidated to ask. In addition, they might be able to remember things that you don't or have another perspective about which attorney to hire.
1/2 next>
"The more you explore the reasons and issues that compromised your marriage, the more you will learn about yourself"
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